The Top Word to Use to Convey Respect and Politeness
When you’re crossing language and cultural borders, one of the most difficult aspects to be successful in is politeness. In your language, you are professional, respectful, and diplomatic. In English, well…. either you need to learn some new tips or people around you are extra sensitive.
One Word To Change It All
So, is there any one word or phrase that can make a significant difference in how you come across? Yes. From over 10 years of coaching business and medical professionals in diplomatic language, I can tell you- there is one word that can make a big difference.
In teaching all the major keys to politeness and respectful speech, one word stands out. When practicing the key aspects, this is the #1 word that my students forgot but could have used to be diplomatic. More than 60% of their speech that came across as arrogant or disrespectful could have been changed with this word.
What is this Key Diplomatic Word?
The word is “would.”
Take a look at these phrases:
That is too soon. I prefer to meet later in the week. We need to have the proposal completely revised by the time we meet. I want to see your portion by Wednesday so I can be sure we are in alignment before we submit.
To many of the professionals I’ve worked with from around the world, this sounds completely fine. However, to an English speaker, this can feel somewhat arrogant, demanding, or disrespectful.
Quick revision with the magic word and:
That would be too soon. I’d prefer to meet later in the week. We would need to have the proposal completely revised by the time we meet. I’d like to see your portion by Wednesday so I can be sure we are in alignment before we submit.
Adding “would” or it’s contraction form “‘d” is a very simple way to sound more humble, professional, and respectful.
Does Not Make You Sound Weak
Some professionals want to be very careful with diplomatic language, as it might come across less firm or confident than they want. That is not the case with this word.
Whatever you say with this word sounds firm and confident- but with respect. People will not misunderstand you.
For example, if you want to say, “That is unacceptable,” you can add “would” like this:
“That would be unacceptable.”
No one will misunderstand this.
Would functions very much like “will.”
For example, instead of saying, “That doesn’t meet our expectations,” add in would:
“That wouldn’t meet our expectations.”
While much polite language uses a measure of indirectness to be diplomatic, this does not sound indirect or unclear. This is just as firm as if you had used the word “will”
“That will not meet our expectations” = “That would not meet our expectations.”
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